"Baby Baby" Amy Grant
If the perfect romantic love exists, it's not in this song. I don't know what the state of Grant's marriage to then-husband Gary Chapman was when she co-wrote her 1991 No. 1 hit. (When I interviewed her in 1997, and she never mentioned him once, instead dwelling on a certain fellow superstar -- Vince Gill, then her "House of Hope" duet partner and later her husband? -- with whom she'd made an amazing platonic connection, I suspected her marriage might soon be over, two years before it officially was.) It doesn't matter because the song is about someone else entirely. Although there wasn't an infant in sight in the romantic video, Grant's lyrics were inspired by hers: daughter Millie, who was born in 1989.
Giveaway lyric: "No muscle man could sever/My love for you is true and it will never"
"Cloud Nine" The Temptations
Songwriters Barrett Strong and Norman Whitfield insisted that the 1969 Temptations hit for which they were responsible wasn't set anywhere in the mind-bent vicinity of The Byrds' "Eight Miles High," but that didn't stop Gladys Knight and the Pips from turning it down flat -- you know, just in case.
Giveaway lyric: "(Reality) I'm gonna sail (up, up) higher (up, up... up, up and away)"
Years ago, when I heard that two of my friends had used Bowie's 1977 non-hit classic as their wedding song, I thought, What an amazing idea. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who had no clue what the song is really about. Had my still-married friends known, they might have opted for something describing a slightly less tainted, more conventional love, like Bowie's "Be My Wife" (a 1977 single from Low) instead. In a 2011 lecture, Tony Visconti, the song's producer, risked letting down event planners around the world (though he apparently didn't deter the ones responsible for the playlist at the 2012 Summer Olympics opening ceremony) by explaining the one true meaning of "'Heroes'": "They use it for every heroic event, although it’s a song about alcoholics." (Fun fact: Those quotations marks within the title -- Did you ever even notice them in the track listing? -- were meant to underscore the irony of the song.)
Giveaway lyric: "And you/You can be mean/And I/I'll drink all the time"
"Killing Me Softly with His Song" Roberta Flack Every bit as romantic sounding as either of Flack's other two chart-toppers -- "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" and "Feel Like Makin' Love" -- but it's not exactly a love song. Its writers, Charles Fox and Norman Gimbel, were inspired by folk singer-songwriter Lori Leiberman's reaction to a Don McLean concert at the Troubadour in L.A. in the early '70s. Leiberman's 1972 original recording of the song is perfectly passable, but it doesn't quite do what Flack's cover did the following year (and neither, frankly, did The Fugees' hit remake more than two decades later): recreate the very magic that she was singing about.
Giveaway lyric: "I heard he sang a good song/I heard he had a style/And so I came to see him/To listen for a while"
"Mellow Yellow" Donovan
Drugs, or sex? The 1966 No. 2 single's reference to an "electrical banana" led some to believe that one could get stoned by smoking the fruit's peels (How would that even be possible?), but Donovan himself has said that the phrase refers to a vibrator, which might actually be even more scandalous.
Giveaway lyric: "Electrical banana/Is gonna be a sudden craze/Electrical banana/Is bound to be the very next phase"
"Miracle" Whitney Houston
Not exactly the miracle of love -- the miracle of life... an unborn child's. When I interviewed him in 1995, Babyface, the author of Houston's 1991 I'm Your Baby Tonight single (No. 9 on the Hot 100), explained that he was inspired by the experiences of a friend who'd lost an unborn child and another who was contemplating terminating an unplanned pregnancy. Though his composition was clearly on the pro-life side of the still-ongoing abortion debate, Houston, who feared alienating her pro-choice fans with such polemic musical politics, took the middle ground in her vocal and mental interpretation, pretending it was about the miracle of life and love... everybody's.
Giveaway lyric: "Nothing should matter/Not when love grows inside you/The choice is yours"
"Orinoco Flow" Enya
The title of Enya musical travelogue -- a surprise 1988 Top 30 U.S. hit -- may very well refer to the river in Venezuela and Colombia, but did you know that it was recorded at Orinoco Studios in London (where Oasis and Chemical Brothers albums, and plenty of others, were mixed in the '90s)? Kind of robs the song of some of its mystique, doesn't it?
Giveaway lyric: "Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, up I do"
"Pumped Up Kicks" Foster The People
Yeah, it's about cool running shoes, which (and here's the gruesome twist) others will have to use to escape the protagonist if he gives in to his homicidal thoughts. In the wake of all the gun violence around the U.S. over the last few years, it's hard to believe that this song became one of the major pop hits of 2011 (a year that bought us several films about troubled youths committing mass murders, including We Need to Talk About Kevin and Beautiful Boy) without inciting barely a peep of controversy due to its lyrical content. Or did I miss something completely?
Giveaway lyric: "All the other kids with the pumped up kicks/You better run, better run, outrun my gun/All the other kids with the pumped up kicks/You better run, better run faster than my bullet"
"The Reflex" Duran Duran
Though it's never been confirmed by the writers of Duran Duran's 1984 second No. 1 hit (the band itself and Nile Rodgers), if one school of thought is indeed correct, "the reflex" refers to what would have been the tools of the trade of the protagonist in the song below if she were a guy who just wanted to have fun... solo, or with others.
Giveaway lyric: "The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark"
"She Bop" Cyndi Lauper
Another girl who just wants to have fun, but in Lauper's 1984 ode to onanism, it's strictly a party of one.
Giveaway lyric: "They say I better stop -- or I'll go blind"