Friday, January 2, 2015

A Shaky Grindr Beginning, Promising Ending

White Guy on Grindr: Sexy

Me: thanks:)

White Guy on Grindr: Ur welcome...

I have always wanted to hook up with a black guy

Me: I am so fucking sick of hearing that

White Guy on Grindr: Im being really honest, its a really big turn on for me

Sorry if i have annoyed u

Me: well, here is a tip: most black guys will be more receptive if u don't make race an issue, positive or negative. we want to be seen as individuals, not as our skin color. you know, like white guys are!

White Guy on Grindr: I get that

Seeing as i have blown my slim chance with u i will keep that in mind

He was right. He'd blown it. I was done. Why do people always think that "I was just being honest" is a suitable excuse for saying the wrong thing? We're all adults here. We should know by now that we don't have to say, or write, every single thought that pops into our head.

Would anyone expect a straight guy to get lucky after approaching a woman and saying, honestly, "I've always wanted to sleep with a woman with big breasts"? As a primary source of objectification, skin color is for black men, as breasts are for women, a sensitive spot. Approach them at your own risk.

Even if I were to meet up with White Guy on Grindr, I'd wonder if I was just the fulfillment of a long-time fantasy and nothing more. I've played that part too many times. I'm tired of being typecast as a piece of meat with eyes. It's time for a new role, one that can be played by a guy of any color.

While the conversation with White Guy on Grindr was over on my part, I did have to give him credit for not getting defensive like so many others have when I've objected to being downgraded from individual to skin color. The last one called me a nigger, which illustrated my point exactly.

I've been called that word by enough color-obsessed suitors (the last three people who used it on me were all previously hitting on me) to know that when it's all about color, "nigger" can too easily end up becoming the new "black."

None for me. I'm good, thanks.
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