Why I Love Straight Men in Gay Bars

Last night I did something I never dreamed I would do in, off all places, DJ Station, three of the gayest stories in all of Bangkok. I spent 30 minutes of quality time hanging out with a straight guy.

He was a tourist from Texas whom I met through his girlfriend, who for some reason took a liking to me. This is actually the same scenario that led me to my last boyfriend in Melbourne two years ago. It was clear to me last night, though, that this story wouldn't have that kind of twist ending.

This guy was clearly interested in me in a purely non-sexual way, human being to human being, which would have disappointed, considering how attractive he was, had it not been so refreshing. It was the easiest, stress-free interaction I've ever had with a beautiful stranger while Jennifer Lopez's "Dance Again" was playing in the background.

Though I don't recall every single detail of our conversation, thanks to the B-52 shots he kept insisting on buying for us, I do know that it was free of all of those pesky questions that mar so many interactions with handsome guys in gay bars. No "Top or bottom?" No questions about the size of my manhood. No "Do you like Asian guys?" In fact, there was absolutely no acknowledgement of the color of my skin or anyone else's.

While we were talking, there was no looking past me to check out who else was passing by, no having to listen to him go on and on about this hot guy and that hot guy, no having to walk back and forth from floor to floor to see and be seen, no attempts to fondle in off-limits places, no wondering whether he wanted me. I had his undivided attention, and he had mine, even though we both knew the conversation probably wouldn't go any further than the exit. It was the kind of one-on-one that straight women flock to gay bars to experience, totally clean, above the waistline and in the moment, without any consideration of our sleeping arrangements later.

The best part: When he kissed me goodbye (on the cheek, of course), I didn't spend a single minute agonizing over whether he'd email me the next day because I didn't expect him to. But if he does, I'd so do it again.

Gay + Straight = 3 Great Songs

Rod Stewart "The Killing of Georgie" (Part I and II)

Terence Trent D'Arby "Billy Don't Fall"

Rihanna "Te Amo"