Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Rated XXX! Australian boys gone wild! (Part 2)

Though I hope I have only just begun to scratch the surface of things I'll see and do in this lifetime, one day into Part 3 of my Project Manhunt Australia -- The Cairns Experiment -- I'm convinced that hysterical online messages can't possibly get any better than this.

Someone pointed out to me the other day that people tend to write things from the anonymous safety of behind their computers that they'd never dare utter in real life. I'd certainly concur, but I'd take it one step further by saying that this might very well be when they show their true colors.

I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole online dating thing, but at least I now know for sure that you encounter the same people there that you encounter in everyday life -- you just don't have to get dressed or leave the comfort of your home to do so. I just received a message from a guy who said he spotted me walking down the aisles at the Woolworths supermarket near my hotel. It's not the first time this has happened, but it didn't creep me out any less than it did the first time. As for his offer to join him for some fun, well, I don't think so.

In Sydney, with a few exceptions, I found the guys to be as polite online as I'd expect them to be were they seeing me for the first time in person. They're a persistent bunch -- I suppose in the Aussie version of the big city, it pays to be aggressive -- but their sane and sound commentary doesn't necessarily make for great blog material.

So thank God for Cairns (where guys are more likely to hand over their phone numbers to a complete stranger online)! A few hours in, and already the guys had me ROTFLOL, then I took a snack break, returned and LMAO. Here's why.
"Hey mate, please take this as a compliment, 'you look lik the fuck of a century'
Correct me if im wrong but i reckon you would know how to do a tight ass like it should be done"
"hi
hows your night going, what you upto??
Mate you have got such a cute smile and your very good looking, your body is amazing and so horny, I bet you have a big cock, Ive never seen a guy like you naked before what a dream."
"hey sexc man, il be in cairns wed nite. U wana play n hav a good session, i crumble 4 dark guys so u cn make me ur slave 2 do wot eva u wish. Send me a text."
The last guy ended with his mobile number (and first name!), but I thought it better not to reprint either here. We wouldn't want his voice mail to be inundated with messages from people who read this post and just can't help themselves. And though I'm always in the market for a slave who does bathrooms, I've been around enough to know that you get what you don't pay for, too.
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