DAN, MY MAN?

Last night I took the Facebook quiz "Which guy from Gossip Girl would be your boyfriend?" I so wanted Nate, but I got Dan instead. Whoa! Dan is actually the one I hate most (way too self-righteous and goody two shoes), but I'm really happy I didn't get Chuck Bass. In love with bad boy. How cliché!

Anyway, for those who care, here's Facebook's take on me: "You attract the 'funny one.' You would be good with Dan Humphrey. You are quirky and fun and don't take yourself too seriously. You know how to have a good time and love to laugh. You would rather spend the night reading or watching a movie than go out and party, but that's what he loves about you. Dan is easy to talk to and will be there for you no matter what."

I love to party with the best of them, and I often do, but I'd say the rest of it is pretty spot on -- and consistent with Facebook's previous pick for my celebrity boyfriend: funny guy Will Smith. Truth be told, the Facebook quizzes are pretty transparent. If you want to end up with the bad boy (and who doesn't?), it's obvious which answers you should choose. But be true to yourself, and sometimes the results are shockingly accurate. For example, when I took the "Which Greek god(dess) are you?," I prayed that I'd be Hera, Zues's wife and the goddess of fidelity and fertility." She was the Eric Kane of Mouth Olympus. Totally me, right?

Well, I ended up being Artemis, goddess of the hunt. Repeat after me: Whoa! My Facebook description: "You are Artemis and enjoy being alone. You like the search, to hunt for those things you desire, and you are like wild animals such as deer. You are especially active at night, restless and roaming through your territory. The moon lights your way."

Frighteningly dead on, as several of my friends noted when I tried to dissent. My brother, Alexi, in particular, wasn't buying the whole Hera thing. "Hera is the goddess of marriage and fidelity," he posted in response to my results and subsequent resistance to them. "Somehow does not strike me as you, Jeremy. Never mind her Eric Kane/Ms. Chandler theatrics."

He had a point. But as Alexi once correctly pointed out, I have a dual personality, I'm a "recovering introvert." Yes, I may be addicted to wanderlust, and the marriage and fidelity thing is probably not apparent at a glance (especially around 4.30am on a Saturday morning), but stay awhile and dig a little deeper, and you'll see they are definitely in the cards. Count on it.