Friday, November 9, 2012

It Must Suck to Be Kirstie Alley's Ex-Husband!

Look who's talking about her '80s love life again! Doesn't Kirstie Alley know it's not nice -- or wise -- to kiss and tell?

I recently bragged about a steamy romantic encounter to a friend, only to have him excerpt my glowing review when I introduced him to the guy to whom I'd given the five-star rave. "I've heard such nice things about you" would have been bad enough, but did he have to go into such detail? Why had I gone into such detail? There's really nowhere to go from there but straight home to stick your head under a pillow.

I suppose I'd make a terrible celebrity. I photograph hideously, and I could never handle having the details of my romantic life spilled all over the Internet. No wonder stars are usually so coy when asked about their bed partners. In the days when I regularly interviewed famous people, I hated when they insisted on being frustratingly tight-lipped about their love lives, guarding their privacy as if it were a matter of national security. It was bad for the story, but I understood their vows of silence, too.

If only more B- and C-listers (and Taylor Swift!) exercised the good taste not to kiss and tell. Did we all need to know that John Travolta is the love of Kirstie Alley's life, that when they were filming the 1989 film Look Who's Talking, it was all she could do not to leave former The Hardy Boys star Parker Stevenson, her husband from 1983 to 1997, to run off and marry Travolta. But there she was recently, telling all to Barbara Walters in an ABC interview that aired on November 7.

I've read speculation that Alley may have been trying to deflect those gay rumors that have been dogging her friend and fellow Scientologist for years. Perhaps, but maybe name dropping a still-A-list former costar was just a clumsy attempt by her to revive interest in her own career. Considering what appearing on Dancing with the Stars says about one's place in the Hollywood pecking order, shouldn't it have been enough that Walters was interested in talking to Alley in the first place? (She might not have if Dancing with the Stars didn't air on the same network, but she's no doubt now glad she did, since Alley's revelation did more for Walters' reputation as the celebrity-scoop queen than it did for Alley's image, or Travolta's.)

Apparently, the headlines guaranteed to be generated by that confession weren't enough. In another recent interview, this one with ET (which aired on November 5), Alley dug up some more of her own dirt and dished it out. If she is to be believed -- and unfortunately, she's the only one who's still around to confirm it -- she and the late Patrick Swayze had an affair of the heart while filming the 1985 TV miniseries North and South. According to Alley, the married-but-not-to-each-other costars fell deeply in love, though they never acted on their feelings.

Is the fact that their yearning burning love never got physical supposed to be some consolation to Lisa Niemi, Swayze's widow and Alley's so-called friend? I always assumed that Swayze and Niemi must have had one of the sturdiest Hollywood marriages, their being teen sweethearts and all, but that may have just been my romanticism running away with me. Did Niemi already know about Swayze's emotional affair with his costar? If she did, it would be news to Alley.

Which begs the question: Why is she talking about it now then? Shouldn't she perhaps have consulted Niemi privately before hanging her late husband's dirty laundry on such a public clothesline? Considering that Alley was married to Stevenson at the time, it makes her ex look like a twice-cuckolded chump while placing her in yet another unflattering light, one that she shines on Swayze, too. Alley's been kissing and telling for years (Remember when she thanked Stevenson for giving her "the big one" during her acceptance speech at the 1991 Emmy Awards?), that's nothing new, but if what she says about her and Swayze is true, why not keep it buried with Swayze, out of respect for him and the widow she claims is her friend?

Is she really that desperate for us to watch her on Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars? Unless the ghost of Swayze is going to pop up as her dance partner, I'm still not interested.

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