TWO DIVAS, THREE HITS?

It's me again, offering more unsolicited opinions, this time of the latest offerings of two longtime queens of oversung pop.

Beyoncé: "If I Were A Boy"/"Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Oh, girl. Here we go again. More guy-bashing, courtesy of Beyoncé's maddening and frustrating new single, "If I Were A Boy" (LISTEN HERE). Sporting the same strummed, mid-tempo groove of every other would-be crossover R&B hit these days (including Beyoncé's own 2006 chart-topper, "Irreplaceable"), it's saddled with the worst cliches about the pig-like nature of men. One has to wonder why any woman with such a low opinion of the opposite sex (and I suspect there are many) wouldn't just start dating girls. After all, only the female sex is apparently enlightened enough to actually feel. A definite miss. Ditto "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)," the other new single from Beyoncé's third solo CD, I Am, due November 18. "Ladies" is catchier and more energetic than "Boy," but it's basically "Get Me Bodied" from B'Day with different lyrics. Somebody (preferably not the snooze-worthy and inexplicably in-demand Ne-Yo) needs to get this girl some new material!

Christina Aguilera: "Keeps Gettin' Better"
The title certainly doesn't refer to her music, which peaked with the 2007 single "Candyman," but Christina returns to the Top 10 of Billboard's Hot 100 this week with one of two new songs (LISTEN HERE) from her forthcoming (November 11, exclusively at Target stores, to be exact) greatest hits compilation, Keeps Gettin' Better - A Decade Of Hits. Has it already been that long? Anglophiles will notice that it treads the same electro-pop terrain previously plod by Goldfrapp (on their Supernature CD) and the pitifully underrated British pop diva Rachel Stevens (on several of her U.K. hits, most notably "Some Girls"). But whatever the song lacks in originality, it's nice to hear Christina displaying some uncharacteristic vocal restraint. Who would have guessed we'd live to see the day when the other one was the underdog in the Britney Vs. Christina battle of the divas?

DOWNLOAD "Boogie Woogie Candyman": Christina Aguilera Vs. The Andrew Sisters

CHECK OUT The way she was: my 2001 Teen People cover story on Christina Aguilera