Saturday, March 27, 2010

BOYS WILL BE BOYS ALL OVER THE WORLD


Dear Argentina,

I owe you an apology. For the last few years, I've been painting a quite unflattering portrait of your men as beautiful losers. They love you. They leave you. They love you again. And if you look the other way, maybe they steal from you, too.

Yes, porteƱos have made my life alternately exiting, exhilarating and exhausting over the last three and a years.

But after a month and a half of travelling the globe -- from Rio to New York to DC to London to Istanbul back to London to Brighton and back, one more time, to London, I finally see the light. There are beautiful -- and not-so-beautiful -- losers everywhere.

Although my vacation has been more about spending time with friends and myself and indulging in all the things I miss in Buenos Aires (grape juice, cranberry juice, cashews, decent pizza, English) than looking for man meat, I've had my foreign affairs (all ultimate disappointments) and kissed a few princes and several frogs.

The hard lesson learned: Guys annoy in every country. They're inconsistent, obsessed with sex, penis size and getting fucked. Scared, scary, bored, boring and terrible communicators (even when you are speaking the same language, linguistically speaking). Only in Argentina -- and in Istanbul -- they are generally better looking. And as terms of endearment go, I prefer "hermoso" and "lindo" to the forced casualness of "mate" and "fella."

I'm coming back to you next week, Argentina. Tell the boys to be ready to let the games begin -- again!

With love,

Jeremy

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